When I think in terms of "quality of life' I find that my mind is habituated to immediately think in terms of what I have, what I own, how free I am to play and travel. But over the years I have recognized that there have been times when, even having all these things, I was still unhappy. Why is that? How can that be so?

We've been trained in our society to believe that a big house, nice car, agreeable spouse, kids going to good schools, great vacations and good looks are all part of the vision we need to hold in order to be successful and achieve the greatest quality of life.

We work year after year toiling away in order to reach these goals. But I have had the great fortune to have learned that these goals are not the real goal. This insight comes from not only my own life experience but also as a life coach I have had the opportunity to step into the hearts and minds of hundreds of people who have achieved all these things and still feel far less than fulfilled. "What's missing?, they may asked. "There's got to be something else to work for."

The goal we are really striving for is not just the attainment of future objectives although that is one of the most enjoyable aspects of being human. We are creators after all. But the real goal we want to reach is the feeling of deep and all pervasive happiness and that can only be obtained by releasing our resistance and our struggle with whatever it is we are pushing against.

This is by no means a passive act. It takes great courage and faith. When you are drowning it is not so easy to relax into it. But, it is only by relaxing into it that you will begin to float and finally learn to enjoy swimming.

Here are a few teachings I've gathered on the subject of desire:

No. 1) In Buddhism desire is considered one of the main hindrances to enlightenment

No. 2) A wise man once said, "There are two kinds of desire. One kind of desire reinforces the ego and its suffering. The other desire sets the ego aside and dissolves its suffering. It is born out of generosity and appreciation."

No. 3) Loa Tzu said, "...rid your self of desires in order to observe its secrets, but always allow yourself to have desires in order to observe its manifestations."

No. 4) Ram Dass once said, "Give it all up and you can have it all."

No. 5) Abraham-Hicks says, "First fully allow whatever is to just be there. From there create your life and dreams without resistance, no struggle."

No. 6) Deepak Chopra said, "In meditation go into the gap between your thoughts, release your dreams and desires into the gap and then watch how they manifest in your life."

Out of these contemplations it seems clear to me that if a desire feels like craving, yearning or lusting then there is a contracted, grasping energy that resists and struggles with the way things are. We cut ourselves off from the fullness and perfection of the moment.

But if we are in the complete fullness of the moment and allowing things to be the way they are then we can release an inspired wish for something creative and uplifting, releasing it like a balloon into the sky. Then, if we have truly let go of it without yearning for results then it will manifest in our life.

I read this recently. I can't remember where but I thought it was worth sharing here.

There was a man who attained enlightenment. At his death the angel who greeted him said, "You are free to go wherever you like." The man said, "I'd like to see what hell is like." So the angel took him to hell.

In hell, there was a large group of people sitting around a delicious banquet. There was one problem; the only thing they had for eating was a pair of chop sticks that were five feet long. Unable to use them to feed themselves they looked sadly upon the feast before them, craving the delicious food and starving.

The man said, "I would like to see heaven now." So, the angel took him to heaven.

In heaven, it was the same; a large group of people sitting around a delicious banquet and the only thing they had for eating was a pair of chop sticks that were five feet long. However, here there was great joy and laughter as the people lovingly fed each other.

In the great Hindu epic, the Ramayana; a wonderous tale of cosmic adventure in a world of people, gods and demons engaged in the struggle between good and evil, there is the story of building a vast bridge over the water so that the god Ram's army of monkeys and bears can reach the island where the great demon Ravana holds Ram's wife, Sita, captive.

As with all ancient Hindu stories, this offers a host of symbolic clues to guide us on our spiritual journeys. The building of the bridge over water to rescue the beloved Sita who was born of the mother nature, gives us clues about how to regain our connection with our true nature by rescuing it from Ravana, the god of trickery, master of illusion and self-indulgences.

The challenge facing Ram's army of monkeys and bears is how to build the bridge. Monkeys and bears have no knowledge of such things. But one monkey recalls that there is one monkey among them who has the unusual ability to float stones. Before long the vast bridge is constructed using thousands of floating stones thereby allowing the army to crossover and bring Sita, their true nature, home.

What do floating stones symbolize? If you pay close attention you can see that a floating stone is a thought and its related emotion or feeling. The water, as with most symbolic traditions, represents illusion, the bottomless ocean of Maya.

A thought that sinks is made of doubt, fear and all the similar, related emotions; anger, depression, craving etc.. A stone that floats, on the other hand, is made of trust, faith, love, devotion, generosity and similar uplifting thoughts and their related emotions and feelings.

The moral of this story is, ' to reconnect with your true nature build a bridge constructed of trust, faith, love, devotion and generosity.'

 

If an acorn had a human mind I believed it would be quite happy gently swaying among the leaves on warm summer days, supported by its mother tree along with all its siblings.

But as the days grow shorter and the mother's sap begins to slow this human acorn might begin to feel uncomfortable as its mother's nourishment withdraws.  As the acorn looks around he sees his siblings falling one by one into the dark and mysterious ground cover below, suddenly it feels afraid.  "Oh God! How horrible!"  It cries.  "I don't want to fall!"

But alas one late afternoon the acorn feels itself losing its grip.  "It's the end!  Someone help me!"  But its cries go unanswered.  The last fiber of connection is severed and the acorn falls mercilessly into the unknown.

After it hits the ground and rolls a few inches it is surprised to discover it is still alive, although cold and unable to see where it is anymore.  It can no longer see its siblings and the few warm rays of the sun are blocked by the undergrowth.  "I'm so lost!  I've been abandoned!"  It cries. And the days grow colder and colder.

The poor little acorn believes it has been cast into hell for reasons unknown to it.  The wind blows; it is covered in the death of rotting leaves, buried under snow and ice. With the long winter comes a horrific cascade of painful thoughts and feelings of despair, hopelessness and confusion.

Then one day the snow and ice melt away and the warmth of the sun can be slightly detected through the heavy layers of rotting debris that has covered the little acorn in darkness.  "Oh, thank you God.  That feels so nice!" it says to itself and fully enjoys the brief experience.

As a little acorn begins to feel more alive it starts trying to find a way out of this dark place.  It tries yelling and praying but no one answers.  He knows there must be more because he can hear birds singing and other sounds of little creatures beginning to stir.

"I've just got to get out of here!"  It says desperately and begins pushing and pushing, praying for strength all the while.  "There is nothing else to do. I have no other choice.  I've got to get out of here!"

After pushing and pushing it tries to roll or jump or fly; whatever works. Suddenly he breaks.  "Ouch!"  And the pain quickly subsides.  "What's that?!  I feel something warm and delicious!  It's wonderful!"

The little acorn begins to reach through the cracks of its shell and absorb the moisture and nourishment.  "Oh!  Thank you God!  You have answered my prayers at last!"

It reaches and reaches deeper and deeper gaining more and more strength.  After it has been fully nourished it pauses.  "But... I am still lonely God.  I have no friends."

And with its eyes gazing upward it discovers that its old, rotting shell no longer confines it.  It begins to move, pushing easily through the darkness.  "I wonder if I'm going in the right direction. I don't know what I'm doing!  I'm so alone and confused. I may be lost forever. But I have to keep going, keep going. There's no turning back."

Then suddenly there is a blinding light.  "Oh my God!  This is it!  I've attained enlightenment!  I'm in heaven!"

As it grows it can see its mother again and all its siblings waving happily. "Hello, hello!" they all cry. 

"This is incredible!"  With its heart over flowing with joy, the little acorn is suddenly struck with awe.  "If I had only known; everything was perfect all along!"